Just Saying

I was passing by on bbm when a friend's update referred me to her new post on Bella Naija. Please read here . It is a story about a girl and her male friend. He likes her, she doesn't have the same feelings. She goes visiting and he tries to sleep with her. In all honesty it wasn't the story that amazed me. It was the comments. Kai, some people showed how desperate they are. A lot of people wondering why she went to visit if she wasn't interested in the guy. Others proclaiming she had thrown away a potential husband. Really!!!!! As in REALLY!!!! So, we are at the level where we accept anyone that is male just because of marriage!!! No words can explain how maddening this is to me. The guy claimed to be in a relationship, promised they wouldn't share a bed and claimed he would make no advances. All these statements went out the window. What didn't the guy do, short of rape and yet, he is a potential husband?  I give up! 

I meant to comment on my facebook page but realized it was too long. I need to start with some context. I was trolling fb and saw  a link to a friend's website. She is into beauty and I think she has done tremendously well for herself. Starting a business, growing her brand and expanding into closely related areas. I checked out her profile and it read thus - My name is________. wife, mother,doctor,blah ,blah , blah. My 1st reaction was.... Ewwww. What does wife and mother have to do with anything. I have always disliked this trend of introducing oneself as a wife and mother. I don't get it. Before you bite my head off, here are my reasons; 1. If you are selling me a lawn mower,what does your marital status have to do with it? or does your lawn mower only mow marital grass? I mean really?? I believe if your business isn't marriage or child related then why mention it? It doesn't make your product sell faster or make your business more high profile. It's all just v

 The greatest problem with the feminist movement is that WE(the women, as a collective) don't know or can't agree on what we want- Anonymous I have watched with amusement for the most part, this ongoing battle in the media about Sheryl Sandberg's book and organisation - Lean In. Like with most things, there are those that agree with her and those that don't. The interesting thing is how vocal these people(women,of course) have been , throwing couched insults. Now, the discourse has moved to how come women trash other women. The dark side of sisterhood blah blah. This is besides the point. And honestly, if this is what feminism is about, count me out. The great idea behind feminism, is being able to have 'IT' all. But I think the point is, we never really sat down to define what 'IT' means. Some people want to work, have successful careers and  be there for their family. I think that's what 'IT' has come to stand for.